Last week I met with a wonderful lady who helps people when they need to find balance and hit periods of exhaustion. Her name is Stacey.
Stacey knows me well, we met in the school playground several years ago. I love it when I go to her ‘clinic’. She works from home, has adapted her sitting room to a clinic during the day and she lives a balanced life around her home, children, friendships and work. he is a great role model for many of us.
Last time we met she told me that she had decided to go ‘networking’ and that she had been to a ladies networking event locally in Guildford. Taking herself out of the comfort of her home life, she decided that she would investigate the ‘networks’. She said she found the ladies incredible and that their networking fever was rubbing off on her. They had confronted her about what online networking she was doing and when she said ‘none’ they persuaded her that she MUST, so she booked herself on a half day Social Media Workshop with someone in Guildford.
While she talked to me about this she had a frown on her face and her energy was very different. She appeared stressed and out of her comfort zone. On further investigation over a cup of tea I discovered that she had been taught to ‘hunt’.
Her ‘role models at the networking event were ‘hunters’ and the Social Media Course she went on was about achieving ‘transactions’. There lies the rub – this was not her, it did not reflect her values or her way of operating. We then had a conversation that changed her whole attitude, I physically saw her shoulders drop and a smile return to her face.
I said to her, the Internet is 24/7 and yes, it can be seen as a MarketPlace, this means you can ‘hunt’ like a savage 24 hours a day and never sleep, and I agreed that sadly some people are like this, a fever takes over and addiction sets in and they see their lives as a big Car Boot sale with loads of ‘punters’. I conjured up an image of a lion out hunting – imagine how exhausted it would be if it hunted all day and night… and some people do!
I explained to my friend that the online world is about being a ‘friend’ that is all, no more and no less. That when you are online you are ‘connecting’ randomly, openly and with a supportive attitude. The trouble is with it is that there are hunters and they are terrifying to their ‘prey’ and the ‘prey’ learn to hide from them.
We agreed that we all have to calm down online, this is not a 24/7 marketplace, it is a social network where business people meet and chat and share. Not where ‘prey’ are stalked and brought down.
I guess the morale of my story is be careful if you are hunting all the time online, you will destroy yourself, your energy and ultimately your ability to eat. You will also exhaust yourself and time online will be a ‘task’ and a duty to your business, rather than the way it should be – the online world should be an enjoyable part of your life, a place where you make friendships and find and give support.
I worry about the expectations of some people from this new digital world. I think it will blow up and then burn out for many people who use it and abuse it. No one can keep hunting constantly. I am sure you are not like this, but perhaps you know people like Stacey that are scared of the online world for this reason, maybe you could help them to see it in a different way.
and… perhaps this week, think about this and ask yourself – am I hunting? or am I being a friend?
warm regards
Penny Power
Founder of Ecademy and Ecademy Digital School
Learning, Networking and Business Development in the Digital Age
Follow @pennypower
